The last two weeks were rough for me. Although it wasn’t apparent on the outside, signs of a downward internal spiral were hard to ignore. My sleep increased as did my desire to be anti-social. I was overdue for a therapy session, and while church was refreshing, the inspiration faded before Friday. I felt isolated and under attack, but thank God for the friends who didn’t let me sink. Facing pressure is inevitable. Between work and financial expectations, growing pains in re

The hardest project we will ever work on is ourselves. The more I attend therapy, the more this fact rings true. Most recently, while working to meet a grant deadline, I found myself being unintentionally short, defensive and frustrated. My responses had less to do with the grant or my writing partner and everything to do with the busyness of my day. I’d been running and working non-stop, and I let my busyness cause me to become an unpleasant person. Burnout and being busy ar

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. -Alice Walker Somehow over the last four years, I forgot I was powerful. It wasn't outwardly apparent, but in many ways, I became stagnant. I stopped fearlessly chasing dreams and started focusing on insecurities and imperfections. I've been moving forward but not living up to my fullest potential. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I started shrinking and playing small, but I can identify the w

I have three sets of flowers on my dining room table collected over the past week. The third set came yesterday when the church I visited distributed bouquets of tulip buds after service. The arrangement included instructions for nurturing the buds to full bloom. Having acquired an array of flowers this week, I see them as a metaphor for the love pouring into my life, and the instructions are a reminder that cultivating a relationship requires intention. Flowers, like relatio

Valentine's Day is Thursday, and that used to mean something to me. It was always a defining moment for whomever I was talking to because it showed me where we stood. The day became an annual let down. I was so pressed to be in a relationship, I ignored the signs telling me “not now.” I wasn’t prepared for what I wanted. I underestimated the process, and rushed myself into problems (or repeated let downs). Truth is, whether we’re preparing for love or business, worthwhile out

Saturday night could have ended badly for me. I don’t often hang out, but I was invited to a gathering and after a productive week, I decided to indulge in choice beverages. Fun was an understatement. We played games, laughed, and sang 90’s classics until someone brought in a speaker system with a built-in party light (I didn’t even know they made those) and transformed the event to a house party. Tables were moved and everyone was either dancing or getting danced on. Full tr

Last week, I threw out three full containers of oatmeal and two new garlic powder seasonings. I was determined to use up the food in my cabinets instead of spending money on groceries in order to keep my financial goals for 2019. Upon attempting this, I was greeted by unopened items that expired in 2014, 2015, and 2017. This means for the last two to five years, I’ve been spending unnecessarily because I was unaware of what I had. Sadly, throwing out food isn’t new for me. Wh

Ironic. That’s how I would describe the fact that the second post of my self-discipline series almost didn’t get published. I sat down to write earlier, but nothing was flowing, and the day nearly passed me by before I realized I hadn’t published anything. That is essentially how our goals get away from us. We start something, fall short, and never cycle back. Well, until now. The road to self-discipline, like all other roads in life, isn’t a walk in the park. At the same tim

The luxury of being single with no kids is not having holiday obligations. Instead of worrying about gifts (which I told my family I wasn’t interested in exchanging as of two years ago), I'm taking time to reflect on the year and prepare for 2019. Don’t get me wrong, family is EXTREMELY important to me, and I WILL be spending quality time with loved ones over the next week. However, in the midst of the demands of this season, we each owe it to ourselves to take a moment to l