Every person in pursuit of a goal or dream has to endure a journey. When we start, obstacles seem to work themselves out, but as you get further, the battles become more internal. Our character traits, mindsets, and habits are called into question, and situations require us to respond differently than we did in the past. On this journey we learn ourselves. Most importantly, we discover the limitations of our former perspectives. Three years ago, I thought I had life figured o

In one week, I will be officially unemployed. To put it another way, I will be a full-time entrepreneur. If I’m fully honest I have just as many questions (about how my bills will get paid) as I do possibilities. I’m at the crossroad of excitement and fear, but I’m not alone. Many of us are in transitional seasons right now. We find ourselves in situations that lead us into the unknown based on an internal pull. This means it’s time to stretch and grow. I’m a firm believer th

Ironic. The day I decide to write a post on releasing control, my car dies completely. The old me would have been highly annoyed at this unplanned happening. The progressed me is slightly annoyed, but at peace because I talked to God about getting a new car this month, and it looks like He’s right on time. Releasing control is an ongoing challenge, but I’m observing my growth and noting the difference it’s made. Obsessing vs Living It’s no secret that I’m a recovering perfec

New levels require new mindsets. This can be uncomfortable for many reasons, but growth is inevitable. Jay-z has a song, “Most Kings,” in which he says, “Everybody look at you strange, say you changed, like you work that hard to stay the same.” If we’re moving forward, we don’t want to be the same person; we want to be better as long as we don’t forget our roots. This is where the internal struggle lies. For years I’ve been true to my roots. Raised in a supportive authoritati

Learning comes in two parts: knowledge and application. The space between gaining knowledge and actually applying it can be frustrating. We can’t unlearn something once we know it, but knowing it doesn’t change our actions. That’s my relationship with critique. I know that constructive critique will grow me, but I still dread it or get defensive when receiving it. This has become most apparent for me the last few months, so I’ve identified my natural responses and decided to

Nobody’s perfect. In theory we know this, but accepting our own flaws can be a process. Lately, as the day I leave my job gets closer, I’m finding myself in situations that illuminate my imperfections. On one hand, I know there are areas in which I still need to grow in order to be ready for my next season, on the other, the former perfectionist in me gets frustrated with the personal growth I haven't mastered. It’s an uncomfortable and eye-opening tension, but I want to shar

In the movie Best Man Holiday the star football player (played by Morris Chestnut) lives by a theme of God, Family, and Football (in that order). Since the movie came out a few years back, I’ve been trying to name my third priority in life. I haven’t intentionally arrived at an answer, but my actions have filled in the blank for me. Work (writing and community organizing) is my third priority, but if I’m honest it has taken precedence over everything else for the last six mon

The last two weeks were rough for me. Although it wasn’t apparent on the outside, signs of a downward internal spiral were hard to ignore. My sleep increased as did my desire to be anti-social. I was overdue for a therapy session, and while church was refreshing, the inspiration faded before Friday. I felt isolated and under attack, but thank God for the friends who didn’t let me sink. Facing pressure is inevitable. Between work and financial expectations, growing pains in re

Time is an essential concept over which we have no control. Too often, we occupy our time being “busy” and still end each day with full to-do lists. Personally, I find that certain tasks stay on my to-do list no matter how badly I want to get them off. In reflection, I can identify patterns and mindsets that lead to avoidance of certain goals. Today, I want to unpack how we manage our time in ways that address or avoid the items we say we want to get done. What do you priorit

I’ve heard it said before that the biggest enemy is the one within. When I think about the goals I haven’t achieved, this statement rings unavoidably true. Four years ago, I was inspired to write a book and published a chapbook ten months later. Two years ago, I went part-time to work on a new book that still isn’t finished let alone published. While the goals have been the same, I’ve changed, and internally it hasn’t been for the best. Since 2017, the biggest battle I’ve bee

There will always be a reason to deprioritize ourselves if we aren’t careful. It’s up to us to set the tone for the world to follow. This wasn’t always my way of thinking. In fact, six years ago I almost let an ex talk me out of saving my life. One night I woke up unable to breathe. My boyfriend at the time told me I was over reacting, and while I knew that wasn’t true, it was enough to deter me from going to the emergency room. Fortunately, I was wise enough to see my docto

The hardest project we will ever work on is ourselves. The more I attend therapy, the more this fact rings true. Most recently, while working to meet a grant deadline, I found myself being unintentionally short, defensive and frustrated. My responses had less to do with the grant or my writing partner and everything to do with the busyness of my day. I’d been running and working non-stop, and I let my busyness cause me to become an unpleasant person. Burnout and being busy ar

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. -Alice Walker Somehow over the last four years, I forgot I was powerful. It wasn't outwardly apparent, but in many ways, I became stagnant. I stopped fearlessly chasing dreams and started focusing on insecurities and imperfections. I've been moving forward but not living up to my fullest potential. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I started shrinking and playing small, but I can identify the w

Behind closed doors, I’m a different person. I discovered this within the past two years when I realized my home was the one place I could remove the mask I put on for the world. I’ve spent the majority of my life playing roles. In every situation I had an idea of who I should be and conformed to the part. From the outside, I looked like the perfect Christian, teacher, daughter, or girlfriend, but I wasn’t being the best Jasmine because I wasn’t being true to myself. If the p

Valentine's Day is Thursday, and that used to mean something to me. It was always a defining moment for whomever I was talking to because it showed me where we stood. The day became an annual let down. I was so pressed to be in a relationship, I ignored the signs telling me “not now.” I wasn’t prepared for what I wanted. I underestimated the process, and rushed myself into problems (or repeated let downs). Truth is, whether we’re preparing for love or business, worthwhile out

Saturday night could have ended badly for me. I don’t often hang out, but I was invited to a gathering and after a productive week, I decided to indulge in choice beverages. Fun was an understatement. We played games, laughed, and sang 90’s classics until someone brought in a speaker system with a built-in party light (I didn’t even know they made those) and transformed the event to a house party. Tables were moved and everyone was either dancing or getting danced on. Full tr

Ironic. That’s how I would describe the fact that the second post of my self-discipline series almost didn’t get published. I sat down to write earlier, but nothing was flowing, and the day nearly passed me by before I realized I hadn’t published anything. That is essentially how our goals get away from us. We start something, fall short, and never cycle back. Well, until now. The road to self-discipline, like all other roads in life, isn’t a walk in the park. At the same tim

I spent New Years Eve solo. It’s unorthodox, but it’s a decision that I wouldn’t have made a year ago. My entry into 2019 was refreshing and representative of my focus for the year: me. I wasn’t always content with me. Accepting my flaws, understanding my needs and voicing my perspective are all new phenomena. This time last year, I was unconsciously flowing through life’s transitions, but somewhere in 2018 it became apparent that this is MY life, and I have a say. That’s the

The luxury of being single with no kids is not having holiday obligations. Instead of worrying about gifts (which I told my family I wasn’t interested in exchanging as of two years ago), I'm taking time to reflect on the year and prepare for 2019. Don’t get me wrong, family is EXTREMELY important to me, and I WILL be spending quality time with loved ones over the next week. However, in the midst of the demands of this season, we each owe it to ourselves to take a moment to l

Parenting and upbringing play a greater role on adulthood than I realized. Whether our childhoods were traumatic or ideal, personal development is mostly unpacking the behaviors and mindsets learned when young. For me, a girl from an authoritative Christian household, my journey consists mostly of finding my individuality. Growing up has been separating what I want, feel and believe from what’s expected of me. For decades, my behaviors and thoughts have been guided by what wa