I wasn’t going to publish a blog this month. In fact, I was going to hold off on blogging until I made progress in writing my book. I convinced myself that my blog was a distraction and that the posts I had in mind weren’t good enough, so I decided to focus on one thing at a time. While my reasoning sounds sane, it’s also a bit selfish. I’ve been holding on to what has been given to me, because I didn’t feel it was good enough to be shared.
My insecurity is the real problem. Last month, I mentioned that I struggle with perfectionism. I don’t publish or perform because things are not yet where I want them to be. I feel pressured and fall back from the public eye. What I fail to consider, is the people who need to hear the word I have right where it currently is. Who am I to withhold someone else’s healing because of my own insecurities?
I didn’t reach this conclusion on my own. I have to thank a friend and fellow blogger who just published a post about being intentional. After reading it, I happened to listen to a podcast that perfectly aligned with her blog. When I shared the podcast with her, she shared with me her morning inspiration videos by Les Brown who asked the question, “What are you doing with the gift you’ve been given?”
Lately, I’ve been keeping my gifts to myself. In my head, I’m perfecting them, but I haven’t been sharing out what I’m pouring into myself. I overlooked the fact that by pouring out, I can make room for someone else to pour into me. Look at my exchange with my friend for example. She shared her blog with the world, and I sent her an aligned word not knowing that she would have even more to pour back into me with the Les Brown videos.
This whole exchange reminded me of the biblical parable the hidden talent. In the story, three servants are given talents. The first servant is given five, the second is given two, and the last is given one. The first two, trade their talents and double them. The last one, out of fear, hides his talent and returns to the master with the same talent. He was condemned for not using his talent and the one he was given was revoked. I have been hiding my talent. I have goals of increasing, but if I’m not diligent over what I’ve been given, how can I be given more?
Sometimes we get so caught up in where we want to be, we undervalue where we are. Blogging isn’t something I studied, it’s something I do to exercise my writing and share lessons that have helped me. I don’t get to take those lessons away from people because of my own fears. I also don't get to stop blogging because I ultimately want to do something else.
I’m not sure if this is just therapeutic for me to write, or if anyone else can relate, but let’s stop operating out of fear or perfectionism. Some people need the person you are right now and the word you have this very moment. They don’t need it to be sparkly or complete, they need it raw and real. You can work toward your goals while appreciating where you currently are. Don't downplay it. Someone needs your gift. Stop hiding what you’ve been given.
-Jasz
Feel free to let me know if you can relate in the comments below. I'd love to hear what you are going to do to stop hiding! LIKE. COMMENT. SHARE.