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#TeamLawrence or #TeamTasha

Is Lawrence really a “f*ck n*gga” as Tasha stated? It’s debatable. On one hand, his unchecked emotions led to irresponsible actions. On the other hand, Tasha allowed their relationship to operate in a gray space knowing Lawrence just broke up with his girl. So, who’s to blame?

I would argue that it’s 50-50, or at least 60-40 (with Lawrence taking the greater load). Let’s start with Tasha. The first time Lawrence hits her up, after saying he had a girlfriend, was for a late night smash fest. We don’t know what the conversation was, but we do know that it started a pattern of him coming over on Friday and staying until Sunday for a series of weekend sex sessions. She later explains, after finding out about Lawrence sleeping with his ex, that they never said they were exclusive. Whether her emotions were involved or not, she knew that they were operating in a gray area. How many times do we “go with the flow” without clarity on where we are flowing and blame the other person when it all hits the fan? Tasha never asked Lawrence anything directly, so she never received any direct answers about what and where they were.

Lawrence is not off the hook, however. From the very beginning, he rebounded with Tasha knowing he was emotionally unstable. Tasha was genuinely interested in him, yet the first night out with his boys, he calls her up for sex. In all honesty, that was probably revenge sex. Lawrence’s ego was hurt. He wasn’t "enough of a man" in his relationship so his girlfriend chose to seek companionship and pleasure elsewhere. And to make matters worse, a man being cheated on is not a socially popular idea, especially for guys like Lawrence, so he had to fulfill this brokenness by reclaiming his “manhood” through sex. While Tasha knew that they were having sex, she didn’t know that she was being used as a pawn and test dummy on Lawrence’s emotional roller-coaster. Lawrence was not honest enough with himself or with Tasha to admit that he was not done processing his feelings for Issa and that he was extremely hurt and uncertain about what he wanted. A simple conversation would have allowed the other person to make an informed decision.

Outside of the show, this gray area relationship, which I like to call a situationship, happens far too often. We allow societal pressures and sometimes friends to impact what we do in our personal relationships. Tasha, like many women, knows she wants a relationship, but out of fear of seeming too eager or pushing him away she tiptoes around the fact that she wants a relationship by showing it non-verbally: cooking for him, asking about going out, and inviting him to the family cookout. Lawrence, happens to be a good guy by nature, so when he is called out by his friend for having a "sex schedule", he feels the need to live up to his “good guy” label by doing what is right by Tasha, even if it’s not where he is mentally or emotionally. Out of fear of looking like “one of those guys” he goes through the routine of watching shows together, attending cookouts reluctantly, and taking her out. Both people are withholding their true feelings and allowing their actions to unclearly communicate their feelings. Hence, Tasha thinks they are making progress, while Lawrence adamantly tells his friend they are just chillin’, “no pressure.” You could say that Tasha and Lawrence are two sides of the same emotional coin. They both are looking for something. The two of them are also products of a society that places unnecessary expectations and labels which prevent people from being who they really are. Women like Tasha need to ask questions early and often, and men like Lawrence need to deal with their emotions or at least be up front about them before involving another person.

Does this make it 50-50 or 60-40? You tell me.

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